just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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