we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize