It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
