eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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