New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
