he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Fuck me I smell like cheese
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
