And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
