omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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