i just had sex bonerless
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
