Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
