whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
