I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize