yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
soo... how was my night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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