Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
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