im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
