My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was confusing and full of hummus
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
