This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Im part way to drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
