Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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