He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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