i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
