Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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