I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
