You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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