So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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