I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she pinky promised me she was 18
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize