I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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