Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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