That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
