Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
