3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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