Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize