Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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