Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you had me at cake vodka
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize