is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
