Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
