I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
