i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
