I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
