How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
