I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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