Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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