He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
