i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
