mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am midnight drunk by noon
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize