he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Congratulations! We have a period
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