so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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