I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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