i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
