i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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