There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm passing your future prison.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
