I have demons in me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I want a musical about memes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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