Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize