I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
