I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize