I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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