We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize