I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
