(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
