I accidentally burped into my bong.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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