Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
