I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
