Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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