Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
