I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
