Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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