It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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