Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
