just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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