this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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