are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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