Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
