my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
