You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she told me i tasted like america
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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