Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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