I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
