Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
