Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
