At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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