hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
